Today is the 6 months mark since I left the US. My mind is a carousel of pictures fixated on reflecting. Last night while skyping with my parents my mom said, “the time has flown” and my dad interrupted with “No it hasn’t!” I replied, “It feels like a long time.” I’d be lying if I said the time has flown, but it also hasn’t dragged like heavy furniture.
These past 6 months have been a roller coaster. The first month I was just a tourist. At the three month mark, I was going through culture shock. Six months later and this truly is my life. Even though I will always be a strange impostor in this country, I have grown attached to many people and things here. That is not to say I don’t miss people or things. However, my life at “home” is becoming a distant memory. I left my life packed away in unorganized boxes scattered between houses and not only do I not miss my possessions but I also don’t remember what are in those (now indubitably) dusty boxes.
I’ve purposefully tried to let go of my life in the US and the obsession of my future so that I could make this my home. I haven’t always succeeded in my goal but since home is just an abstract idea, I have succeeded in making this my home and given enough time could probably make one anywhere---MINUS all the people I love that are thousands of miles away, an important thing that can’t be overstated .
Nowadays my pen is heavy and writing is forced. Novelty has faded as my new life has formed. I no longer think twice as I go to kiss someone on the cheek. I actually prefer it to the handshake. I find myself dozing off when I ride the metro, just like all the other Chileans. I unconsciously switch from English to Spanish. And while August snow was weird and November swimming will be something I have to get used to, I’ve come to the realization that the people here are not so different from those in the US. Yes, there are still obvious cultural differences but underneath it all their lives, dreams/aspirations, worries, motivations, and life questions are not so dissimilar. Their language, idioms, and methods of communication may be distinct but their general messages are the same.
At the start of this adventure, I was certain that traveling abroad would make me appreciate my life in the US more: my car, my culture, Targets on every corner, and the general easy access to nearly everything. And although it’s definitely more apparent now how easy things can be in the US, it’s clear the important lessons I’m learning are far different than I would have ever guessed. Here, I don’t have easy access to everything but that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy. In the US I have everything at my fingertips but that doesn’t translate into instant happiness. I’m learning that no matter where I go or where my life leads, I have to adjust my attitude and work with what I’ve got, both inwardly and outwardly while simultaneously accepting the things I can’t control. Being proactive is the only option if I am going to go in the direction that I need to; I can change roads so long as I’m moving in the right direction.
These things might seem trite and overly obvious but I had to experience and discover them on my own journey to actually understand. I’m not afraid of the hazy, unwritten future anymore. I look forward to all that waits, knowing that I will blink and all this will be gone because naturally all streets come to an end.
"We all do what we can so we can do just one more thing
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