Sometimes I think that my last entry was just a bunch of hogwash. I feel strong some moments and equally weak during others. Reading charles buwkoski has made writing about finding inner-strength seem like silly drivel. Actually, every time I write in this blog, I feel ridiculous because I'm well aware that my thoughts aren't that interesting (unless you're my parents), but I continue to do so in hopes that it serves some personal purpose.
Ever since I got to Chile, I have been trying to figure out what motivated people to come here. Three girls that are extending their stays have found Chilean boyfriends. Two girls left the program early, and had boys waiting for them back home. It could be a coincidence, but I am inclined to think not. Romance and love are powerful motivators, even if no one likes to admit it. Another person I met realized that he was ready to return to the US to finish his bachelor’s degree. Some were looking for an easy way to postpone the bleak career search back in the US and just wanted a sabbatical year. Some were running from things and just needed an escape. Some wanted a cultural experience that involved Spanish and needed adventure to satiate their wanderlust. Some wanted a combination.
As for my motivations, I am not sure what I was searching for. All I know is that I wasn’t looking for love. And I wasn’t coming here to figure out if I liked teaching; I already knew that I did. To my own surprise, I’ve recently realized that I might actually be ready to go home (future travel adventures not out of the question), and I'm certain that I'll miss a lot of things here . So perhaps, just perhaps I have found something. Not inner strength but something more elusive, though I might be mistaken.
